Emphasis is placed on organizing logical arguments with clearly expressed related definitions, theses, and evidence. Students will write to persuade and to report and describe.

Section 1: Objectives

Students will:

1. Organize logical arguments with clearly related definitions, theses, and evidence; write persuasively; write to report and describe; and write poems, plays, and stories
2. Write in a voice and style appropriate to audience and purpose
3. Organize ideas in writing to ensure coherence, logical progression, and support for ideas
4. Use prewriting strategies to generate ideas, develop voice, and plan
5. Develop drafts both alone and collaboratively by reorganizing content and by refining style to suit occasion, audience, and purpose
6. Proofread writing for appropriateness of organization, content, style, and conventions
7. Refine selected pieces frequently to publish for general and specific audiences
8. Use technology for aspects of creating, revising, editing, and publishing texts
9. Evaluate writing for both mechanics and content
10. Respond productively to peer review of his/her own work

Topic 1 - Writing to Describe

When a person goes into a pizza restaurant, he or she will experience a variety of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. When describing that experience, a writer tells about what he or she observed and felt. Descriptive writing includes precise details and effective word choice to create pictures in the mind of the reader.

Writing is a process. Very few people ever sit down and write an effective paper without planning, writing, and rewriting several times to achieve the effect they are after. To produce an effective paper, a writer must follow the steps that make up the writing process.

Step 1:  Exploring Ideas

Ideas for descriptive writing should be:

• interesting to the writer
• easy to visualize
• rich in sensory details
• limited enough to cover in the project being written

There are many methods available for exploring ideas and recording sensory details. One such method is brainstorming. To use brainstorming, the writer must ask “What can I describe?” Then, list everything that comes to mind - people, places, objects, etc. From the list, the writer selects the most promising topic and identifies sensory details that can be used to describe the topic selected. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings associated with the topic should be listed.

A chart like the one below can be very helpful in listing sensory details.

Sense	Detail
Sights	tables and booths made of red metal with blue vinyl cushions planters full of green plants fireplace made of gray stones buffet filled with assorted pizzas, salads, and desserts vending machines, a big screen TV, and game machines
Sounds	customers talking kids making noise sounds from a big screen TV and game machines
Smells	garlic, tomato sauce, cheese, sausage, etc.
Tastes	flavors of pizza, sweet tastes of desserts, colas, etc.
Feelings	hunger, cold, heat from the lamps on the buffet table

Activity #1
Getting Started

Select a familiar place that you can describe.

Suggestions:

• your bedroom
• a barber shop
• your favorite burger place

Step 2:  Focusing Your Writing

In describing a place, the purpose is to allow readers to picture the scene and to feel the atmosphere. The audience may vary. For example, if the topic was a visit to a pizza parlor, the writer might be sending a letter to a friend describing the visit, preparing a note to convince parents to plan a party there for friends, or completing a school assignment. The language needed to fit each audience would be different.

The point of view of the paper depends upon the audience and purpose. When writing to friends and parents, first person point of view is appropriate. In first person point of view, the writer speaks directly to the audience and uses the pronouns “I” and “we”. For a class assignment, third person point of view is appropriate. Third person point of view puts some distance between the writer and the topic. In third person, the writer uses pronouns such as “he”, “she”, “it”, and “they”.

Example.  A sentence in the paragraph might be:

When I walked inside the pizza parlor, I came face to face with a tall, skinny cashier. - First person

Just inside the door of the pizza parlor stood a tall, skinny cashier. - Third person

After choosing the purpose and the audience, a writer can determine the tone of the paper. Tone is the attitude the writer adopts to describe the topic. The tone could be serious in a class assignment or humorous in a letter to a friend.

Activity #2
Focusing Your Writing

Use the topic you selected in Activity #1. Briefly describe the focus of your paper.

1. purpose
2. audience
3. point of view
4. tone

Step 3:  Limiting the Topic

The topic should be limited enough to be covered in the paper. For a paragraph, the topic will be more limited than for an essay.

When limiting a topic, a writer should:

• Limit the topic to a specific example or a specific time and place.

  For example:  A writer would have difficulty effectively describing a shopping mall in a single paragraph. Describing a pizza parlor could be accomplished in a paragraph. The topic could be limited to the last time the writer visited the pizza parlor.

• Choose a title that will be a reminder of the limited topic.

  For example:  “My last visit to the pizza parlor”.

Activity #3
Limiting Your Topic

In future activities, you will be writing a descriptive paragraph based upon the information you have gathered in the previous activities. Limit your topic to a specific example or to a specific time and place that can be covered in a single paragraph.

Choose a title that will help you remember the limits of your description.

You will use this information to complete future activities in this topic.

Step 4:  Identifying Descriptive Language

Specific nouns and active verbs create precise images. Instead of saying “building”, “worker”, “pastry” which are general terms, say “bakery”, “chef”, “éclair” which are specific terms. Active verbs are more effective than passive verbs. “The man was walking away” is not as effective as “The man walked away.”

Modifiers can create sensory details accurately. Well-chosen adjectives and adverbs refine the words they modify. Participial and prepositional phrases can add effective details also.

It is not necessary to modify every noun and verb in every sentence. Use only the modifiers needed to describe the scene effectively.

Activity #4
Identifying Descriptive Language

Based upon your work in the previous activities, make a list of precise nouns, strong verbs, and effective modifiers that you can use in your description. Have a friend review the list and suggest additional words or phrases that will improve the list.

You will use the information from this activity to complete future activities in this topic.

Step 5:  Organizing Ideas and Writing a First Draft

After identifying the details that can be included in the paragraph, a writer must decide how to organize the information. For describing a place, the best organizational pattern to use is spatial order. When using spatial order, the writer can describe the scene from foreground to background, from left to right, etc. Transitional words such as: under, over, next to, to the left, etc. should be used to tie ideas together.

Next, the writer should arrange the notes to fit the particular order chosen to describe the scene. Drawing a sketch of the scene may help the writer organize the details of the description. While looking at the sketch, the writer can order the details front to back, left to right, etc.

Then, the writer can write a rough draft of the paragraph. The structure of the paragraph should follow the pattern described below.

The Topic Sentence

The topic sentence should identify the topic, suggest what will follow, and give the reader a general impression of the content. Usually, the topic sentence is the first sentence in the paragraph.

Supporting Sentences

Supporting sentences contain the sensory details that describe the topic. These details include items such as color, shape, size, texture, weight, taste, smell, and sound. The writer should elaborate on the details - not just list them. The charts and notes from prewriting activities provide the writer with information needed to write the supporting sentences. The writer should organize these sentences in the order in which he or she plans to describe the place. Jumping from one side to the other and back again should be avoided. The description should move sequentially from starting point to ending point so that the reader can follow the progression.

The Concluding Sentence

The concluding sentence can reinforce the general impression the writer is trying to achieve, restate the topic sentence in different words, summarize the main points, introduce a new detail, or give a personal impression about the place.

Activity #5
Organizing Ideas and Writing a First Draft

Decide the order in which you will present the information in your paragraph. Organize your notes to fit that pattern. Write a rough draft that contains a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence.

Step 6:  Revising Descriptive Writing

After the first draft is written, the writer should put it aside for a while before revising it. The content should be revised first; then, the style and tone should be revised. Corrections in grammar and mechanics should be made later during proofreading.

Revising the Content

A writer should be sure that:

• The paper really describes the subject so that the reader can picture the scene.
• The writing is clear and easy to understand.
• Details are added where needed.
• All ideas relate to the topic.
• Ideas are presented in the correct order.
• Sentences are developed adequately.
• Transitions are effective.
• The focus and details are clear.

Revising for Style and Tone

A writer should be sure that:

• Sentences vary in length and structure.
• The words used are clear.
• Unneeded adjectives and adverbs are eliminated.
• The point of view is consistent throughout the paragraph.
• The mood and atmosphere are consistent.

Finally, write an effective title for your paper.

Activity #6
Revising a Descriptive Paper

Revise the first draft that you wrote in Activity #5. Revise first for content; then, revise for style and tone. Do not worry about grammar and mechanics at this time. Write an effective title for your paper.

Step 7:  Proofreading

Once a writer has revised the paragraph, proofreading is necessary to correct errors in structure, grammar and mechanics.

The following steps are helpful for proofreading:

The writer should:

1. Read each sentence to check for sentence structure, agreement, and usage.
2. Read each sentence to check for errors in capitalization and punctuation.
3. Check each word for spelling.
4. Make sure that the paper reads smoothly and sounds right.
5. Ask someone to proofread the paper and make suggestions for improvement.

Use the following checklist when proofreading:

1. Are conjunctions used correctly?
2. Are the verb tenses consistent?
3. Do subjects and verbs agree?
4. Do pronouns have clear antecedents?
5. Are all word usage errors corrected?
6. Are modifiers placed correctly?
7. Are sentence fragments and run-ons corrected?
8. Are there any errors in capitalization?
9. Are there any errors in punctuation?
10. Are there any errors in spelling?

Click Here for a Proofreading Checklist
which can be printed

Activity #7
Proofreading

Proofread your paragraph using the checklist and strategies in this lesson. Prepare a clean copy and read the paragraph again. Have a friend read the clean copy and suggest needed changes. Make any final changes needed and prepare a final copy. The final copy should be typed on the computer using a word processing program and printed out. Save a final copy for your Red Comet folder.

Step 8:  Publishing a Descriptive Paragraph

Here are some ways a student writer can publish work:

• Read the paragraph to a teacher, a parent, or a friend.
• Post a copy of the paragraph on a school bulletin board such as in the library or in a classroom.
• Submit the writing to the school newspaper or to literary magazines.
• Submit the paragraph to local newspapers.

A writer should keep a copy in his or her personal portfolio.

Activity #8
Publishing your Descriptive Paragraph

Publish your paragraph using at least one of the methods listed above.

Study Guide for Topic

1. Describe brainstorming.

2. What four points should a writer consider to focus writing?

3. What is descriptive language?

4. What is a topic sentence?

5. What are supporting sentences?

6. What is the concluding sentence?

7. Identify the areas to be covered when revising for content.

8. Identify the areas to be covered when revising for tone and style.

9. What are the steps in proofreading?

On a sheet of paper, answer each question above. When you have finished, review your work with your Red Comet Contact Person.

Click Here for Sample Study Guide Answers

Activity #9
Exploring the Web!

To better understand sensory details, go to:

Using Specific, Concrete Details
LEO: Literacy Education Online

Assignment: Explain the RENNS Model of Sensory Details.

Click Here for Sample Answers